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it is impossible for you to understand everythingyou don’t need to understand everythingit is impossible for anyone else to make you understand, because only you can make yourself understand it is your burden and your problem to understandand you are asking the attorney to help you understand
I don’t understand can and sometimes does mean that the person does not know what the communication meansI don’t understand can and sometimes does mean that the person does not know what a specific word in the communication meansI don’t understand can and sometimes does mean that the person does not know what the consequences of what they were told areI don’t understand can and frequently means I do understand, but I don’t like what you are saying
What does the term “X” mean?What are the steps of the processWhat are the consequences of “X”How would that work?What are the possible outcomes?What might be the range of results?
Not Understanding
Summary
Understanding your attorney is really both the client’s obligation and burden. This is because, the legal problem is that of the client, so if there is a negative consequence for the client not understanding it is the client who will generally suffer. Also, as a practical matter, understanding happens inside a person’s brain, so it is actually impossible for another person to make you understand anything; only you can make yourself understand.
It is natural and helpful to identify when you do not understand to help your attorney help you. But, more productive language than the vague statement I don’t understand could include “Can you define the meaning of a specific word,” or “what is the consequence of a specific condition,” or “what are the possible outcomes from a specific tactic.”
I advise using the term “I don’t understand,” sparingly and with caution, because it can be a slf fulfilling statement. If you repeatedly say you don’t understand, without actually helping the person you seek information from help you, you may find yourself with fewer and fewer options for people who can help you and are willing to help you.
Importantly, in the attorney-client relationship, excessive use of the term, “I don’t understand,” can indicate a breakdown in communication and justify not accepting you as a client or causing the attorney to terminate the attorney client relationship.
Details
I do not understand has become one of the most overused and least productive terms in my experience as an attorney. This blog is part of a series to assist Ted Broomfield’s clients and prospective clients get the most from the attorney client relationship, minimize fees spent in necessary education, and reduce friction. The goals of this article are to: (1) explain the extremely counterproductive nature of the term “I don’t understand,” without identifying what is the obstacle in understanding; (2) help the client form simple, precise questions that an attorney may be capable of answering in a manner that makes understanding possible; and (3) guide the client or prospect as to resources to find their own answers.
Attorney and client are a team to help solve the client’s problem; but, it is the client’s problem
In any legal matter, it is the client who has the problem, not the attorney. Even after the client hires the attorney, it is the client who has the problem.
So, just like if you have a clog in the toilet, you hire a plumber, or if you have a medical problem, you hire a doctor, if you have a legal problem, you hire an attorney.
If the client does not understand the attorney, the outcome may be undesired.
So, you must understand the attorney and the attorney must understand you to get the best result. Neither can make the other understand, each has the burden and the obligation to understand the other. The attorney must do everything reasonable to understand the client, but conversely, the client must do everything reasonable to understand the attorney.
It is literally impossible for anyone else to make your brain understand, only you can do it
The concept of understanding happens within each person’s brain. No third person can make anyone else understand. The only thing that a person can do is help someone else understand.
So, because it is literally impossible for someone else to make you understand and it is you that has the problem, and not the attorney, it is your task and your burden to understand.
NO PERSON CAN MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF UNDERSTAND
It is impossible to understand everything and you do not need to understand everything
Because understanding your attorney is so important to solve the problem, it is natural to want to understand. Acknowledging that you do not understand is a great first step to understanding. However, you must be careful not to let not understanding get in the way of understanding what you need to understand.
The first step is understanding that it is impossible to understand every legal nuance of your legal problem, and you simply do not need to understand everything. It takes years of education just to enter the profession and many more years to gather the real world experience to practice the profession.
You will not be able to get that knowledge in an intake telephone call or even in the experience of your one legal matter.
Additionally, each person is unique. What sounds each person hears, what words each person knows, what background information each person has is totally unique.
It is impossible for any third person to be able to guess the exact words and the order of the words that you require to understand a concept.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND EVERY LEGAL DETAIL OF YOUR PROBLEM
Even though you need to understand some things, too much time & effort attempting to understand what you may not be able to understand and what may not be necessary to understand can hurt you
It is normal and generally positive to asking question and identify when you do not understand in pursuit of solving your problem.
However, too much of a good thing can be bad.
If you spend too much time seeking understanding but still repeatedly cannot understand that can harm you. That can harm you by delaying action. That can harm you by making your focus your attention and efforts in understanding something that maybe you did not need to understand. That can harm you by driving away people who might be willing to help you, but know that they will never be able to make you understand what you want to, and thus avoid you. That can harm you leading to large bills for attorney time spent trying to help you understand what might have been impossible and / or unnecessary for you to understand.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM, YOU MUST DECIDE WHAT IS NECESSARY TO UNDERSTAND AND WHAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO UNDERSTAND AND WHAT MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND
Just saying “I don’t understand,” without more is getting in the way of you actually understanding
So, because
JUST SAYING I DON’T UNDERSTAND, WITHOUT MORE, CAN ACTUALLY BE HARMFUL
What do you mean by the term I don’t understand? The question is not helpful to understand.
The term I don’t understand is vague and unhelpful to gain understanding, because the question can and often does mean many different and inconsistent things.
Simply saying that you do not understand, without more, is almost totally useless in helping you understand, because it does not identify what you do not understand
Do you not understand the meaning of some words, the grammar, the consequences? Are you merely stating you do not like what is being communicated?
Better questions for understanding: (i) What does the term “X” mean?; (ii) What are the steps of the process; (iii) what are the consequences of “X”; (iv) how would that work?
So, a better approach to help your attorney help you understand is to ask precise questions that target the information that you need to understand. Such questions could include
Using I do not understand to communicate that you do not like what is being communicated is the basis to reject a client or terminate a client relationship
Within this context, when I conclude that a prospective client uses the term “I do not understand,” to communicate that the prospective client does not like what is being communicated, I will not accept that client.
When I conclude that a client uses the term “I do not understand,” to communicate that the prospective client does not like what is being communicated, I may terminate the client relationship.
The reason is not liking a reality has nothing to do with the empiric reality of the situation. And the rule is that when communication breaks down an attorney may not represent a client.
So, if a client communicates the real, but largely irrelevant fact that they don’t like an empiric reality of their situation by using a vague and basically untrue statement of lack of understanding, I must conclude that there is a total breakdown in communication, and representation is impossible.
BECAUSE IT IS THE CLIENT’S RESPONSIBILITY TO UNDERSTAND TO HELP SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEM, AND SAYING I DON’T UNDERSTAND INDICATES A LACK OF COMMUNICATION, EXCESSIVE USE OF “I DON’T UNDERSTAND” PREVENTS REPRESENTATION
Resources to help you understand
Because it is the prospective client’s burden and obligation to understand and the attorney’s time is both limited and expensive, I have created the following list of potential resources for prospective clients and clients to help themselves understand
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